Looks can be deceiving. I doubt this phrase will spark much argument (and if it does, then it’s a different discussion!)
Coping does not mean it’s easy is an example of a situation where looks can be deceiving,
The initial response to ‘coping does not mean it’s easy’ may well be ‘well duh’. But if I pointed to somebody on the street who wasn’t bawling in tears, and wasn’t jumping for joy and asked is that person coping or is their life easy at the moment could you tell me?
Obviously this is a slightly broad and unrealistic scenario, but I think it helps to illustrate my point.
My point is, (and for those who currently know my personal circumstances I am not having a go at anybody) if people seem outwardly like they are going OK, yet you know things are going on in their life, don’t assume they are finding it easy.
This is my personal experience, and maybe it’s just me, but I suspect others would tell you the same.
I think there are three broad categories, people aren’t coping (this is usually obvious), people are coping (but you can clearly tell that they are just coping), people are coping (but if you met them in the street and hadn’t seen them for a while you would assume everything is normal).
It is the last category I’m discussing, but it’s not the person in the street who I’m highlighting. Rather it’s the person who knows they are going though a difficult time but assumes, because of there general behaviour it is all good.
I’m not saying it’s easy to tell, but I am saying if you know somebody is going through a rough time, it doesn’t hurt to ask how they’re going.
Thank you to those who have. Those who haven’t, please don’t feel attacked, I imagine I would have (and probably sometimes still do) acted the same had I not had personal experiences that has brought this to my attention.